TO MARRY OR NOT Present trend not to marry, ,to live in relationships, if it goes well, it continues, if not, then think of alternative. It was mentioned in the newspaper a few days back that about 50% in China and USA do not want to marry, even if married, divorces are on the increase. In life 2 stages in marriage are very critical, 1 to 1.1/2 years which need adjustment, many a time due to joint family, man’s bias and attitudes after marriage create issues, girls are getting educated, openly move in society more or less like boys, there is not much inhibition now, besides media is playing a big role to bring in consciousness in girls that they are in no manner less intelligent or less capable than the boys. Co-education creates an atmosphere of equality and arguments for justification, moreso to justify one’s case at all costs and by all means.. If this stage of adjustment is crossed over, then intermediary life goes in adjustment, owning responsibilities for children’s education and welfare. Then next stage comes in when the children get settled on their own in their own families, and this couple is left alone as husband and wife. As in this stage, there is not much to do, conflicts mostly about the past actions and also about the children, not only crop up but do become the major issue of arguments, conflicts and fights which forces them better to live separate on their own or get settled as per their choice. As for both the stages are concerned, pre-education by mothers for girls and father for boys, if it is fully explained quoting their own example, it could go a long way for the adjustment. Going through literature to seek answer for hesitations could be of great help. And as for the 2nd stage of old age is concerned, let them study literature, get to social media and see how the old ones who did not marry and didn’t have the children, how miserable they feel, none to bother about them and none to give over whatever they have earned and are now left with, besides the wish that there is none to take of their dead body rather than be thrown away like a dustbin. ANSWER TO THIS STAGE remains that both or at least one of them, specially the husband, must remain fully occupied with whatever activities he prefers, - prayers, vocations, writings, sightseeing, travels etc., the least free time they will be left with, the lesser time will be left to them to talk of the past and even about the children and find fault thereof and therefor. THE ENTIRE LIFE GOES ON BY GIVE AND TAKE AND IN ADJUSTMENT WHETHER MARRIED OR NOT, THEREFORE I BELIEVE, ONE WILL DEFINITELY COME TO THE DECISION TO MARRY AFTER ANALYING THE SITUATIONS AND CIRCUMSTANCES I HAVE CARED TO BRING OUT. FURTHER NEEDLESS TO FOREGET, WIFE IS THE FIRST LOVE WHILE THE CHILDREN ARE THE 2ND LOVE, NEVER TO BE FORGOTTEN NOR SEPARATED BESIDES I AM OF THE VIEW THAT PRE-MARRIAGE DISCUSSIONS BY THE BOY AND THE GIRL TO SORT ALL ISSUES BEFORE AGREEING TO MARRY, MICRO UNIT, SELF-DECISION AND NON INTERFERENCE BY PARENTS WILL GO A LONG WAY TO ENABLE THE MARRIED COUPLE TO LIVE THEIR LIFE COMFORTABLY. To sum up, it is better to marry than not to marry causing regrets at the end of life, in old age. tks . 1-3-25  

There is no doubt when the girl gets married, she is a clean slate, full of aspiration, create her own family and lead a happy life, without causing any trouble to her parents nor to her in-laws.

I think after a few days of marriage, the couple must manage to get honeymoon trip. One will ask why after a few days, the answer lies in the fact that the girl during these few days will be able to

understand as to what sort of difficulties she has faced during these few days and shallalso be able to observe as to how she will be able to manage with the members of husband’s family, in particular with her mother in-law and sisters in-laws if her husband has his sisters living in the same house of the parent., who generally out of jealousy (as is the nature of all women folk) do provoke and instigate their mother against the wife of their brother. HENCE GETTING TO HONEYMOON AFTER A FEW DAYS OF MARRIAGE IS CONSIDERED TO BE THE ANSWER TO CLARIFY ABOUT THE ISSUES AND MOSTLY COME TO AN UNDERSTANDING AS TO HOW TO PROCEED AND MANAGE THEIR MARRIED LIFE FURTHER.

During this internal of honeymoon, it will be preferable that the boy asks his wife as to how much she feels to be happy in dealing with the members of his family and if he doesn’t or avoids it, then the girl must take initiative to put forward all the issues she feels concerned about. Generally the boy will listen to his wife carefully, patiently about her concerns and possibly shall do all to suggest

answers for the hesitations and will take initiative to discuss and persuade his family members to treat his wife as a member of his family, listen to her and do all to accommodate and adjust with her, least to enter into criticism and find faults.

THUS HUSBAND AND WIFE’S DISCUSSION DURING HONEYMOON INTERVAL AND HUSBAND’S TAKING INITIUATIVE TO RECONCILE HIS FAMILY MEMBERS TOWARDS HIS WIFE WILL HELP A LOT TO CEMENT THE RELATIONSHIP AND FOUNDATION OF MARRIED LIFE TO GO ON SMOOTHLY. tks