Even if the final choice is left to the children, still it is essential for the parents to find time and make all inquiries to dissipate their doubts and reservations, by all means available. Finding time even at the cost of work is very important to avoid repentance afterward. Such a role of the parents is essential as a guide to making a final decision by their child but CARE needs to be taken:
- not to influence the views of their child
- not to impose their views
- believe and act in the manner that final choice is that of their child and that they are there just to express their views, feelings, experience and no more.
- if their child has made his/her decision ALREADY, I am of the view, parents SHOULD’NT EXPRESS THEIR VIEWS as otherwise the child possibly may change his/ her mind under influence, pressure or respect and abandon his/her decision which in many cases could misfire, the child may decide not to marry at all, moreso when his/her cherished girl /boy friend gets married and it is possible he/she may become revengeful and may cut off relations with the parents. All such steps by the child will cause more pain to the parents than invoking their own views despite the fact that their child has made his/her final decision to cement the relationship.
- hence expression of views and inquiries search are important and necessary depending on:
- if the child wishes so
- before the child is frequenting and is in the process of making his/her mind.
- to make home clearly to the child that parents being well- wishers and cherishing in the happiness of the child, if the parents feel to express their views, they need to be cautious and take precaution that their feelings and views are expressed in the initial stage and those too if the child wishes so, and not otherwise and that also before final decision is taken by the child.
It is therefore essential that parents must dialogue with their child and create an atmosphere of openness and allow freedom to express and put forward each other’s views before any search by parents or the child is made. Such a process will create a spirit of cohesion, deliberation and finalization of what they are to search for and what each one is to assume. In such circumstances, there is great possibility that the child will take his/her parents into confidence and express his/her views about the girl/boy friend he/she is inclined to what for and what are his/her reservations for the time being as also what views or roles he/she expects from the parents before jumping into final decision. Edited by Founder and creator of MARRIAGE GUIDANCE NEW CONCEPT