IF CONFLICT DEVEOPS BETWEEN WIFE AND HUSBAND, WHAT SHOULD THE PARENTS DO, HOW SHOULD THEY TACKLE IT, IS THE QUESTION? -FIRST AND FOREMOST, PARENTS NEED TO PERSUADE THEIR CHILD -BE SURE NEVER TO ACCUSE THE CHILD OF THE OTHER FAMILY FIRSTLY PARENTS DO NOT KNOW THE EXACT FACTS NOR THE REASONS THEREFOR -FURTHER ANY SORT OF ACCUSATION AND/OR ILLWILL EXPRESSED WILL ADD TO THE ISSUE AND PERHAPS IGNITE TO NON-RETURNABLE SITUATION. -IF THE PARENTS SHALL ASK THEIR CHILD, HE OR SHE WILL EXPRESS AS IT SUITS HIM OR HER, THE REALITY OF THE FACTS WILL NOT BE KNOWN RATHER THESE WILL BE TWISTED TO HIS/HER INTEREST. -FURTHER IT IS WELL KNOWN, GENERALLY NO ONE BLAMES HIMSELF/HERSELF AND PUTS THE BLAME ON THE OTHER PERSON/PARTY. -SHOULD THE PARENTS DISCUSS AMONGST EACH OTHER. -PERHAPS YES, BUT GENERALLY SUCH AN OVERTURE WILL NOT BE LIKED BY THE CHILD AND EVEN IF THE PARENTS COME UP WITH SOME PROPOSAL, IT WILL NOT BE LIKED BY EITHER, SAYING THAT HE/SHE KNOWS BETTER WHAT TO DO AND HOW TO BEHAVE AND THAT HE/SHE HAS LIVED TOGETHER SO LONG, SO HE/SHE BETTER KNOW WHAT ARE THE ATTITUDES, MANNERS, WHAT HABITS AND ATTITUDES HAVE DEVELOPED LATELY, MOST OF THE TIME THESE HAVE BEEN TOLERATED BUT NOW WE HAVE REACHED SUCH A STAGE WHERE IT NOT POSSIBLE TO TOLERATE ANY MORE AND THE ONLY DECISION REMAINS TO SEPARATE AND TO DO IT AS EARLY AS POSSIBLE. -PARENTS TOO AFTER LISTENING AND SUGGESTING/ADVISING A BIT, DECIDE TO KEEP QUIET RATHER TO DRAG ON ANY FURTHER, IN FEAR THAT THEIR CHILD IS ALREADY DISTURBED A LOT, AND ANY ADVICE OR DISCUSSION FURTHER WILL ANNOY THE CHILD, MAKE HIM/HER WEAP OR GET AWAY FROM THE HOUSE. IF SUCH A SITUATION DEVELOPS, PARENTS WILL GENERALLY FEEL MORE WORRIED AND PERHAPS WILL END UP ACCUSING EACH OTHER HUSBAND AND WIFE. AS SUCH PARENTS SHOULD AND MUST KEEP QUIET AND NEVER INSIST IF THE CHILD DOESN’T WANT IT OR IS NOT INCLINED TO LISTEN AND AGREE TO PARENTS VIEWS. -FURTHER IF THE CHILDREN ARE LIVING IN A DIFFERENT COUNTRY AND ARE WORKING THERE, THEN IN THAT SITUATION, THE CHILDREN WILL BEHAVE AS THEY LIKE AND TAKE DECISION WHICH SUITS THEM. -IF THE PARENTS DECIDE TO GO WHERE THEIR CHILD IS LIVING, THEY WILL BE STRANGER IN THAT COUNTRY AND SHALL DEPEND TOTALLY DEPENDENT ON THEIR CHILD AND AS SUCH FIND IT VERY HARD TO TALK AND EVEN IF THE PARENTS MANAGE TO TALK, IT WILL SERVE NO PURPOSE AS THE PARENTS DO NOT KNOW THE FACTS NOR ARE EXACTLY AWARE OF THE CIRCUMSTANCES, CONDITIONS AND RULES FOR SEPARATION ETC.IN THAT COUNTRY -FINALLY, IN THE SAME MANNER AS THEIR CHILD, THE PARENTS NEED NOT INSIST AT ALL. WILL THE PARENTS ADVISE THEIR CHILD TO COME AND LIVE WITH THEM? THEY MAY SUGGEST BUT NOT INSIST AT ALL AS OTHERWISE THEY WILL BE DISTURBING THEM AS ALSO THE CHILD WILL NOT BE THAT FREE TO MOVE IN THE COMPANY OR SOMEONE SHE/HE LIKES. BETTER TO ALLOW THE CHILD TO LIVE SEPARATELY AND IF ANY FINANCIAL NEED IS THERE, THE PARENTS MAY MANAGE THAT. AS FOR ADVICE IS CONERNED, PERHAPS, THE PARENTS COULD TELL THEIR CHILD THAT BEFORE HE OR SHE TAKES THE FINAL DECISION, IT WILL BE BETTER TO GET TO SOME LITERATURE. CHECK UP WITH SOME FRIENDS WHO HAVE ALREADY SEPARATED, AS TO WHAT IS THEIR EXPERIENCE, WHAT DIFFICULTY HE/SHE WILL FACE BY LIVING AND/OR GETTING REMRRIED ETC. ETC.BETTER ALSO TO MEET SOME OLD PERSONS WHO ARE LIVING ALONE AND CHECK AS TO HOW THEY ARE FEELING IN THEIR OLD AGE AFTER HAVING TAKEN DECION TO SEPARATE AND LIVE ALONE. WHATEVER ACTION AND MEASURES THEIR CHILD TAKES, PARENTS MUST TRY TO AVOID TO BE ASSOCIATED OR ACCOMPANY THE CHILD, UNLESS THEY FEEL THAT THE CHILD IS DISTRESSED/DEPRESSED THAT HE/SHE NEEDS THE COMPANY OF HIS/HER PARENTS. IN SUCH A SITUATION. ALSO PARENTS MUST JUST LISTEN NOR INTERRUPT NOR ARGUE IN ANY MANNER. ON RETURN HOME. IF THE CHILD WANTS TO DISCUSS, SURELY THE PARENTS MUST DISCUSS THEIR VIEWS, BUT AT ALL COST AVOID TO ARGUE AND NEVER TO INSIST ON THEIR VIEWS. LET THE PARENTS MUST UNDERSTAND WHEN THE CHILDREN GETS GROWN UP, BECOMES ADULT, THEY DEVELOP THEIR OWN VIEWS AND TO A GREAT EXTENT IT IS TRUE AS WELL THAT THEY LIVE IN THE PRESENT ENVIRONMENTS WHILE PARENTS HAVE LIVED THEIR LIFE MUCH LONGER BACK AND AS SUCH WHATEVER THEIR ADVICE, IT WILL BE BASED ON THEIR EXPERIENCE AND MORAL VALUES. BESIDES IN THE PRESENT AGE, DEVELOPMENTS ARE TAKING SO RAPIDLY, MEDIA IS A GREAT INFLUENCER, LIVE ALONE IN MAY WAYS HAS BEEN FACILITATED THROUGH INVENTIONS ETC. DESPITE ALL THESE FACTS. LIVING ALONE PERHAPS REMAINS MANAGEABLE TILL THE PARENTS ARE ALIVE AND THE CHILD HAS NOT GROWN THAT OLD BUT WHEN PARENTS ARE NO MORE, THE CHILD HAS GROWN OLD, THEN COMES IN THE REAL ISSUES TO FACE IN TERMS OF HEALTH DETERIORATION, REMEMBERING THE PAST AND THINKING WHETHER THE DECISION TO SEPARATE COULD BE AVOIDED ETC. ETC. ALL SUCH DO CAUSE DEPRESSION AND REGRETS. AS SUCH THE PARENTS, MUST ADVISE THEIR CHILD TO STUDY ALL SITUATINS WHETER TO MARRY AGAIN WHICH SHALL OBLIGE TO TOLERATE MORE THAN AT PRESENT AND IF NOT TO MARRY. HAS ALSO MANY PROBLEMS IN OLD AGE. AS SUCH IT IS BETTER TO TAKE SOME TIME, EXPLORE ALL MATERIALS, CONSULTATION, PEEP FULLY INTO THE CONSEQUENCES OF LIVING ALONE AND/OR WITH SOMEONE IN LIVE-IN ARRANGEMENT AND/OR TO REMARRY. AND AFTER YOU HAVE REACHED A FINAL DECISION, THEN TAKE THE ACTION AS YOU THINK AND WHAT SUITS YOU, IT IS YOUR LIFE AND YOU HAV TO MANAGE AS YOU LIKE. PRECAUTION: 1. PARENTS MUST NOT INDULGE IN ACCUSING THE OTHER PARTY 2. ADVISE THE CHILD, IF THE CHILD IS INCLINED TO LISTEN 3. IF FINANCIAL RESOURCES PERMIT, BETTER THE CHILD SHOULD LIVE SEPARATELY AND NOT WITH THE PARENTS. 4. SUCH A SEPARATE LIVING WILL GIVE THE FREEDOM TO THE CHILD TO LIVE IN THE MANNER HE/SHE WANTS AND FACE THE EXPERIENCE OF LIVING ALONE, OR TO DO LIVE-IN ARRANGEMENT AND/OR TO REMARRY. 5 THERE ARE ALSO INSTANCES ESPECIALLY IN FOREIGN COUNTRIES HERE THE SEPARATED COUPLES AFTER SOME TIME RECONCILE AND START LIVING TOGETHER. ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….. BY VASDEVLOOND 9811943867 VASDEVLOOND@GMAIL.COM