Both are worst I think, both need reflexion why, what was the purpose of marriage and what will be the consequences if divorce happens. (2) Also should one continue with estranged relationship or better divorce? Both stages are the worst, can one mend and avoid, live with it or decide to break. Answer: I feel divorce one should think of only in extremes in particular in the case of infidelity, illicit and unacceptable habits, brutality, fights, accusations, fear of being killed etc. etc. Divorce could be thought of but with full reflexion of consequences after divorce where after life becomes harder for the woman than for the man and if she has a child, though child gives a company but becomes handicap to get remarried besides the age at which divorce takes place. One mostly counts on friends and the family who are a helping hand in the beginning, and at the end it is only parents who give the company, wish and make all efforts to get the divorced child settled while they are alive. Hence reflexion is very important before concluding and jumping into divorce. Simple questions are:
(1) what are the reasons which are forcing us to part with
(2) are there any solutions
(3) If so, why shouldn't I give them a trial
(4) If I give in, what harm I will have to live with
(5) If he or she does not change, why do i not change myself?
(6) Can’t we sit together and sort out our differences or alternatively take advice from trusted relative, friend, sociologist, psychologist etc.
(7) What will happen to the child(ren) and what moral he/she/they will take from us as parents
(8) Do I feel I will be happy after divorce?
(9) do I think that have I learnt a lesson from what I am going through, am I ram ready to face the situation as it comes about after divorce, and I am well informed and well versed to make a better choice hereafter and how. etc. etc. Conclusion; if one is convinced and wants to find a solution one certainly can by shunning ego, compromising and adjusting with the situations as per the circumstances and demands of the other and if i accept that what harm i will do to myself and suffer from. (2) if the answer comes, it is enough, i can't bear with it any more, am prepared to face all situations as these will come about, then I am of the view it is better to divorce than suffer all the time which may lead to bad health, result in illness and at time to believe in there is no use to live any more and what for. Hence divorce in extremes is acceptable but in most of the cases it is avoidable if one looks to the reasons, gets convinced to take to measures to adjust and move along, all the more important to adjust willingly and struggle to live happy.
Is it essential to have children? In agrarian society, it was a must to have more and more hands to do the job and be a force against adversaries. In this industrial age, each one finds his/her vocation, employment etc. as such that need as it existed in agrarian society exists no more. It necessitate and transformed to have 2 or maximum 3 children so that parents in their busy life could not look after many and also could not afford for better education and bringing up of their children. NOW it appears this trend is also disappearing due to family conflicts, divorces, woman consciousness that so long as she is beautiful, she is loved, then why to have children and deshape her body, strain of life, individualism, micro units, live-in arrangement, boy and girl relationship, infidelity, lack of trust and most important why to have children, take burden, own responsibilities and what for, and instead why not enjoy our life so long as we live and be in freedom and master of our own.
True, all these are the dissuading factors. but I am of the view. despite all problems and responsibilities, which one faces or encounters, still it is essential to have children, to satisfy oneself of mine and thine, to own responsibilities and progress, to look back and/or count upon if not all the time, at least in need and in extreme situations, to thwart stress and strain when in company of wife and children,