CHILDREN ARE NOW ADAMANT, STAND BY THEIR OWN, LISTEN LESS IMPOSE THEIR VIEWS MUCH, WHY SO? 1. IT IS CHANGE OF ENVIRONMENTS, EDUCATION, MEDIA ETC. 2. THEY HARDLY HAVE THE TIME NOR HAVE THE PATIENCE. CONTRARY TO THIS, PATENTS HAVE THEIR EXPERIENCE, PHILOSOPHY. RESPECT AND MORAL VALUES ETC. PRESENT WORLD IS MOVING SO FAST THAT ONE HAS TO REMAIN AWARE AND ADAPT TO THOSE CONDITIONS. ALL SUCH CHANGES ARE THE RESULT OF EDUCATION, WHERE DISCUSSION AND TO ARGUE AND JUSTIFY ONE’S VIEWS AS EXPRESSED ON THE SUBJECT OR IN DIALOGUE, ARE ESSENTIAL PART OF EDUCATION TO CLARIFY, LISTEN TO OTHERS VIEWS, ACCEPT OR JUSTIFY ONE’S ARGMENTS IS MORE OR LESS ESSNTIAL WHEREIN THE EFFORT REMAINS TO WIN AND BE ACCEPTED. -CO-EDUCATION GOOD OR BAD IS CHANGING THE BEHAVIOUR OF THE GIRLS HOW TO PROTECT THEM AND BE COMBATIVE TO SHOW CLEARLY THAT GIRLS ARE NO LESS INTELLIGENT THAN THE BOYS ETC. -MEDIA IS ANOTHER FACTOR WHICH GIVES KNOWLEDGE AND PROVOCATION WORK TRAVEL AND WORK PLACES TO AND FRO DO ADD TO AWARENESS AND ARE CONTRIBUTORY TO ARGEMENTS ETC. IN CONTRAST TO THIS, PARENTS REMAIN BUSY IN ROUTINES AND/OR CLOSETTED IN HOUSE ON RETIREMENT, AS SUCH HAVING CONTACT WITH THE OUTSIDE WORLD NOR HAVE ANY INTEREST AT ALL, KEEPS THE PARENTS FIRM IN THEIR OWN IDEAS, LIVING AND EXPERIENCE. THEY TOO ON THEIR SIDE ARE RIGID AND ANY DISCUSSUION AND/OR ARGUMENT BY CHIDREN CONTRADICTORY AND/OR IN LOUD WORDS OR IN ANGER TAKE SUCH A BEHAVIOUR OF THEIR CHILDREN AS A DISRESPECT. HENCE COMES IN CLASH OF TWO GENERATIONS, THE OLD ONE AND THE PRESENT ONE, RELATIONS GET EMBITTERED AND UNLESS THE PARENTS RECONCILE, THE RELATIONS DEFINITELY COME TO STOP RATHER BROKEN FINALLY. THE CHILDREN WHO ARE YOUNG, ARE AT WORK, ARE COMPARATIVELY FINNCIALY WELL OFF, HAVE THEIR OWN FAMILY, SOME TIME DICTATED BY THEIR WIVES, SOME TIME CONFLICTS AMONGST THEMSELVES, ETC. ETC. FORCE THE CHILDREN TO STICK TO THEIR IDEAS AND IN PARTICULAR TO THEIR INDIVIDUAL INTERESTS. THERE HAS ALWAYS BEEN DIFFERENCES IN THINKING, BEHAVIOUR AND ACTIONS BETWEEN PARENTS AND THE CHILDREN FROM GENERATIONS TO GENERATIONS, SO THE SAME SIUTATION IS HAPPENING AT PRESENT TO THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN PARENTS AND THE CHILDREN. IN COMPARISON, THERE WAS RESPECT FOR THE ELDERS AND AS SUCH ACCEPTANCE WAS MORE THAN USING HARSH WORDS AND/OR TURNING RIGID AND ADAMANT. IT IS POSSIBLE THAT AT THAT TIME CHILDREN WERE DEPENDENT ON THEIR PARENTS FOR ALL THEIR NEEDS, WHILE TODAY CHILDREN ARE INDEPENDENT BY WORKING IN DIFFERENT VOCATIONS, LEAST DEPENDENT ON THE PARENTS, WHILE IN CONTRAST MANY A TIME PARENTS DEPEND FOR THEIR LIVING ON THEIR CHILDREN. SINCE IT IS A REVERSAL SITUATION WHEREIN CHILDREN GET EDUCATION WHILE NO CHILD WAS EDUATED EARLIER AND THEIR MAIN SOURCE WAS AGRICULTURE, LIVING OF COUPLES HAS BECOME INDEPENDENT TO LIVE IN MICRO UNITS, WORK NECESSITATES MANY A TIME TO LIVE AWAY FROM THE PARENTS. BESIDES MEDIA ETC AS CITED ABOVE, DEVELOPS INDEPENDENT THINKING IN THE CHILDREN HOW TO TAKE DECISIONS TO HANDLE THEIR OWN RESPONSIBILITES, DO TEND THE CHILDREN TO STICK TO THEIR IDEAS AND EXPERIENCE AND AS SUCH THEY REMAIN ADAMANT IN THEIR VIEWS AND EXPRESSION. FURTHER AS RESPECT HAS TURNED INTO SYMBOLIC, THERE IS NO RESTRICTIVE BARRIER TO RESTRAIN THE CHILDREN IN ANY MANNER. FURTHER AS FOR RESPECT IS CONCERNED WE OBSERVE MORE IN THE POORS, DOWN TRODDEN THE MAXIMUM, MIDDLE CLASS FAMILIES IT IS LESS AND AS FOR RICH AND AFFLUENCE SOCIETIES ARE CONCERNED, RESPECT MORE OR LESS REMAINS FOR NAME SAKE. THEN FURTHER WE FIND DIFFERENCE OF RESECT IN VARIOUS COMMUNITIES FOR EXAMPLES BANIYAS, JAINS, SINDHIS, GUJRATI, MAHWARIS ARE MORE RESPECTFUL THAN THE PUNJABIS FURTHER THOSE WHO LIVE IN INDIA ARE COMPARATIVELY MORE RESPECTFUL THAN THOSE EVEN THOUGH ASIANS, DIFFER MUCH IN RESPECT THAN THOSE LIVING IN INDIA WHICH IS THE RESULT OF ENVIRONMENTS AND CULTURE IN EACH COUNTRY. IN SHORT, WHEN RESPECT VARIES, BEHAVIOUR OF CHILDREN WITH REGARD TO RESPECT VARIES AND WHEN ANY ISSUE STARTS, THEY ARE COMPARATIVLY MORE FRANK AND MORE ADAMANT. IT DOES NOT MEAN THAT PARENTS ARE NOT ADAMANT. IN THIS CASE, THE PARENTS WH DO NOT CHANGE THEMSELVES AND PARACTICALLY DO NOT DEPEND ON THEIR CHILDREN.. COMPARATIVELY REMAIN MORE ADAMANT THAN THOSE WHO ARE DEPENDENT ON THEIR CHILDREN, NEVERTHLESS THERE ARE A FEW EXCEPTIONS WHO DO NOT DEPEND ON THEIR CHILDREN, MANAGE TO TRANSFORM THEMSELVES AND TEND TO LISTEN TO THEIR CHILDREN. THEN WHY SO, SINCE SUCH PERSONS HAVE TRANSFORMED THEMSELVES BY UNDERSTANDING THE REALITIES OF LIFE AND ALSO THEIR BEHAVIOUR WITH THEIR CHILDREN, SUCH PARENTS DO OPT TO SHUN RIGIDNESS AND NEVER TO IMPOSE THEIR VIEWS ON THEIR CHILDREN. BESIDES SUCH PERSONS ALSO BELIEVE THAT IT IS THEY WHO NEED THEIR CHILDREN THAN THE CHILDREN NEED THEM BECAUSE THE CHILDREN ARE BUSY TO LIV AND ENJOY THEIR LIFE WIT FRIENDS AND COLLEAUGUES, MORE OR LESS OF THEIR AGE EXCEPT THAT THEY KEEP EMOTIONAL RELATIONS WITH THEIR PARENTS. IN CONCLUSION; THERE IS A DEFINTE GAP OF THINKING AND BEHAVIOUR BEWEEN THE PRESENT GENERATION, WHEREIN THE CHILDREN LIVE AT PRESENT AND THE OLD GENERATION WHEREIN THE PARENTS HAVE LIVED AND ARE LIVING. - THE CHILDREN WILL BE ADAMANT AND VOCAL IN THEIR VIEWS - RESPECT WILL BE EMOTIONAL, VARIANT IN MOST OF THE CASES - INTEREEST WILL DIFFER AND WILL BECOME SELF CENTRED - DIFFERENT CULTURES AND ENVIRONMENTS WILL ORIENT BEHAVIOUR AND ATTITUDES TEND TO MAKE THE PARENTS CONCILIATORY, UNDERSTANDING, YIELDING AND ACCEPTING. BESIDES THOSE PARENTS WHO UNDERSTAND AND KNOW IT WELL THAT AT THEIR PRESENT AGE IT IS THE PARENTS WHO NEED THEIR CHILDREN, RATHER THAN THE CHILDREN NEED THEM EMOTIONALLY, FINANCIALLY, MEETING AND ENJOYING IN MEETS FROM TIME TO TIME AND/OR IN HOLIDAYS WITH THEIR PARENTS. AS SUCH, THESE WISE PERSONS NEVER GET ADAMANT AND LIVE A HARMONIOUS AND LOVING LIFE WITH THEIR CHILREN AS THEY ARE IN THEIR BEHAVIOUR, ATTITUDES, EXPRESSION, RESPECT ETC. ADVICE; PARENTS NEED NOT BE ADAMANT, REMAIN CONCILIATORY AND IN ACCEPTANCE HOWSOEVER THEIR CHILDREN ARE, WHATEVER THEIR ATTITUDE, BEHAVIOUR AND EVEN USING LOUD AND POSSIBLY UNPLEASANT WORDS AND LANGUAGE IN EXPRESSION, ARE CONCERNED. THE MORE THE RESTRAINTS PARENTS PUT ON THEMSELVES IN THEIR EXPRESSION AND BEHAVIOUR, THE MORE EMOTIONAL, CORDIAL AND LOVING RELATIONS THEY WILL BE ABLE TO KEEP WITH THEIR CHILDREN. IN SHORT AND IN SUM AND SUBSTANCE, PARENTS SHOULD NEVER BECOME ADAMANT DESPITE PROVOCATION THAT THEIR CHILDREN ARE ADAMANT AND DO NOT LISTEN TO THEM. …………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….vasdevloond, founder of cost free marriage bureau titled Marriage Guidance New Concept Contact: 9811943867 vasdevloond@gmai.com