ARE THE CHILDREIN A LIABILITY OR AN ASSET, EACH ONE HAS HIS/HER OWN EXPERIENCE, WHICH NEEDS TO BE ANALYSED WHY FOR SOME IT IS GOOD AND FOR OTHERS IT IS WORST. BEFORE GETTING INTO ANALYSI, IS IT ESSENTIAL TO HAVE CHILDREN, VIEWS DIFFER AND EACH ONE HAS HIS/HER DEEP ROOTED VIEWS FOR AND AGAINST. THOSE WHO DO NOT WANT TO HAVE CHILDREN, THEY BELIEVE THAT THEY DO NOT KNOW HOW LONG THEY ARE GOING TO LIVE, BETTER TO LIVE ALONE AND EVEN IN LIVE-IN ARRANGED LIFE, BUT NOT AND NEVER TO THINK OF HAVING CHILDREN, WHY SO AND WHY SUCH A THINKING? MOSTLY SUCH PERSONS SEE AND READ THAT IN FAMILIES THERE ARE FIGHTS WITH PARENTS, AMONGST THEMSELVES ETC. AND AS SUCH WILLINGLY AND UNWILLINGLY THEY PASS THEIR LIFE IN MISERIES AND REGRETS AND CONTINUE FEELING IT WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER NOT TO HAVE BORN CHILDREN, OWN RESPONSIBILITIES AND LIABILITIES AND AS SUCH WE WOULD HAVE SAVED THOSE RESOURCES TO LIVE COMFORTABLY IN OLD AGE AND DURING OUR WORKING LIFE AS WELL. THOUGH SUCH PERSONS HAVE THE INSTICTS AND FEELINGS TO HAVE CHILDREN BUT THEY FEEL AFRAID OF FIGHTS AS ALSO NOT BEING SURE WHETHER THEIR CHILDREN WILL PROVIDE THEM RELIEF AND COMFORT IN OLD AGE, WHICH MOSTLY IS NOT THE CASE IN PRESENT TIMES. CONTRARY TO THIS, THERE ARE MANY MORE WHO BELIEVE THAT IT IS ESSENTIAL TO HAVE CHILDREN TO ENJOY LOVE, POSSIBLY ALSO TO KEEP THE RELATIONSHIP OF THE COUPLE IN TACT AS BOTH REMAIN BUSY IN OWNING AND DISCHARGING THEIR RESPONSIBILITIES IN THE UPBRINGING OF THEIR CHILDREN AND ALSO HOPING THAT WHEN THEY WILL GET GROWN UP AND GET TO THEIR JOBS ETC. THEIR FATE AND SITUATION/STATUS OF THEIR HOUSE WILL IMPROVE AND WILL GET BETTER TO BRING BACK TO THEM TO ENJOY THE FRUITS OF THEIR EFFORTS AND ENJOY HAPPINESS THEREOF. BESIDES THEY ALSO THINK THAT THE CHILDREN THOUGH CREATE RESPONSIBILITIES FOR THEM, BUT ESSENTIALLY THEY BRING TO THEM PROGRESS AND LUCK IN SOME FORM OR THE OTHER, BESIDES WHATEVER THEY EARN, THEY NEED TO GIVE TO SOMEONE AND FOR THAT TO HAVE CHILDREN IS THE BEST ANSWER TO CONTINUE CONTINUATION OF THEIR NAME THROUGH THEIR CHILDREN FOR GENERATIONS TO COME. FURTHER IT IS NOT NCESSARY THAT THERE ARE CONFLICTS AND FIGHTS IN HOUSES WHO HAVE CHILDREN, MAYBE SUCH FAMILIES HAVE LACKED THE MORAL VALUES OF LIFE, NO RESPECT AND NO TOLERANCE FOR EACH OTHER, INSTEAD POSSIBLY TO FIND AND CREATE REASONS TO LIVE IN CONFLICT ALL THE TIME BESIDES PERHAPS NOT GIVING ENOUGH TO TIME TO TAKE CARE IN THE UPBRINGING OF THEIR CHILDREN ETC. IT IS GENERALLY SAID AND IS A FACT AS WELL, WHEN WE LIVE TOGETHER WE FEIGHT, AND WHEN WE LIVE AWAY AND APART, WE MISS EACH OTHER AND FEEL THE NECESSITY TO MEET, RENEW AND ENJOY OUR RELATIONSHIP. LIVING IN JOINT FAMILIES, THOUGH HAVE CERTAIN ADVANTAGES IN SHARING RESPONSBILITIES AND DO FINANCIAL SAVINGS, DO CAUSE CONFLICTS OF UNDERSTANDING, PREFERENCES, JEALOUSIES, ETC. ETC. HENCE IN CONCLUSION THOSE WHO DO NOT WANT TO HAVE CHILDREN, CITE SUCH EXAMPLES WHILE THOSE WHO WANT TO HAVE CHILDREN EITHER DO ALL TO ADJUST WITH ALL MEMBERS OF THE JOINT FAMILY OR DECIDE TO LIVE APART IN MICRO UNIT. BESIDES WHAT I HAVE CITED ABOVE, THERE ARE MANY MORE REASONS WHICH FORCE SOME NOT HAVE CHILDREN WHILE THERE ARE MANY MORE, WHO DESPITE CONFLICTS, RESPONSIBILITIES, PREFER TO HAVE CHILDREN. NOW LET ME EXPLORE AND ANALYSE THE REASONS FOR AND AGAINST: THOSE WHO DO NOT WANT TO HAVE CHILDREN, REASONS THEREOF: 1. CONCLICTS BETWEEN FATHER AND MOTHER 2. CONFLICTS BETWEEN FAMILY MEMBERS 3. CONFICTS BETWEEN PATERNAL UNCLES-AUNTS, MATERNAL UNCLES-AUNTS BETWEEN THE FAMILIES OF FATHER AND MOTHER, LADIES AMONGST THEMSELVES, 4. CONCLICTS AND ACCUSATIONS FOR DISTRIBUTION OF ASSETS ETC. 5. JEALOUSES, LOVE AND HATRED 6. SETBACK PERHAPS THE LOVER OR BELOVED GOT MARRIED SOMEWHERE ELSE DUE TO PARENTS PRESSURE OR OTHERWISE AND DECIDING AS SUCH NOT TO MARRY AT ALL. 7. MARRIED BUT STARTED WITH CONFLICTS OF NON-ADJUSTMENT ETC. RESULTING IN SEPARATION AND DIVORCE, THIS EXPERIENCE OF SHOCK FORCES ONE TO DECIDE BETTER IT IS NOT MARRY AT ALL AND GET INTO FURTHER UNKNOWN PROBLEMS. 8. POVERTY AND PRACTICALLY NO RESOURCES TO MARRY AND/OR NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN AT ALL. 9. NEVER FOUND A WISHED FOR COMPATIBILE PARTNER 10. HAVING BEEN DITCHED AND DECEIVED BY SO-CALLED BOY-GIRL RELATIONSHIP 11. BEING IMPOTENT AND/OR PHYSICALLY TO CONCEIVE OR BORN A CHILD. 12. GOT INTO RELATIONSHIP OF HOMO SEXUALITY THOSE WHO WANT AND ARE DETERMINED TO HAVE CHILDREN, REASONS THEREOF: 1. NATURAL INSTICT TO GET MARRIED AND HAVE CHIDREN 2. FEMALES ARE DESPITE MANY ODDS, PREFER TO HAVE CHIDREN 3.. PARENTS, INLAWS, AND EVEN HUSBAND ALSO WANTS TO HAVE CHILDREN AND TO GET INTO MARRIAGE THEREFOR. 4. ASPIRATIONS AND DESIRES WHAT WE AS PARENTS COULD NOT DO, OUR CHILDREN WILL ACCOMPLISH OUR ASPIRATIONS. 5. GROWTH OF FAMILY FINANCIALLY, STATUS, EVEN AS SUCURITY TO THWART ANY EVENTUAL ATTACK, THEFT ETC. 6. CHILDREN WILL ASSIST AND CONTINUE THE BUSINESS WE HAVE LAUNCHED. 7. IN TURNMOIL AND STRUGGLE OF LIFE, CHILDREN SERVE A SOURCE OF LOVE AND RELAXATION. 8. SERVE FOR AVOIDING CONFLICT BETWEEN HUSBAND AND WIFE, RATHER HELP IN CEMENTING THEIR RELATIONS. 9. SERVE AS BACKBONE FOR OLD AGE, FINANCIALLY, CARE, MAINTENANCE AND LOVE SHARING 10. TO LEAVE THE ASSETS AND EARNING TO THE CHILDREN, WHO ARE OUR OWN BLOOD AND TRUST. 11. AS MARRIAGE IS ESSENTIAL EMOTIONALLY AND SEXUALLY, TO LOVE, CARE, SHARE ETC. LIKEWISE CHILDREN WHEN GROWN TO CERTAIN AGE FROM CHILDHOOD DO HELP THEIR PARENTS TO SHARE AND OWN RESPONSIBILITIES OF THEIR PARENTS AS ALSO SHARE LOVE AND PROVIDE RELAXATION OF PARENTS BY ASSISTING IN HOUSEHOLD AFFAIRS, PARTICIPATING IN DISCUSSION, JOKES AND ALL SORTS OF SUBJECTS WHICH INTEREST THE PARENTS AND/OR TO EVERYONE. 12. CHILDREN CREATE MINE AND THINE AND AS SUCH NECESSITATING TO OWN ALL RESPONSBILITIES FOR PROGRESS AND DEVELOPMENT. FINALLY IT IS ESSENTIAL TO LOOK AT AND BRING OUT WHAT ARE THE PLEASURS/DIFFICULTIES/ HANDICAPS FACED BY BOTH TO HAVE CHILDREN AND NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN, WHEN THEY REACH THEIR OLD AGE: THOSE WHO DECIDED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN FOR WHATEVER REASONS THEY HAD, DO FEEL MISERABLE IN OLD AGE IN VARIOUS WAYS: 1. ALL WORRIES AND ISSUES OF LIFE TO SHARE WITH WHOM, WHO IS THERE WHOM THEY CONFIDE THEREIN, NONE. 2. NONE IS THERE TO TAKE CARE OF THEIR WELL BEING, MEDICATION ETC. 3. WITH WHOM TO LEAVE WHAT THEY HAVE STRUGGLED AND EARNED IN THEIR LIFE. 4. WHEN THEY WILL DIE, THEY WILL JUST BE THROWN AND BURNT IN ROUTINES AND CARELESSNESS WHILE HAD THEY THEIR OWN CHILDREN, THEIR CREMATION WOULD HAVE GONE AS BEST AS THE CHILDREN COULD AFFORD WITH LOVE AND CEREMONIAL RITES ETC. 5. WORRIES AND ALL TYPES OF THOUGHTS CONTINUE RUSHING AGAIN AND AGAIN AS TO WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO THEM WHEN THEY WILL DIE, WILL THEY BE THROWN AWAY TO ROT, HOW MUCH TIME AND IN WHAT MANNER. 6. ALL SUCH THOUGHTS AND POSSIBLY REALISING THAT THEY MADE A GROSS MISTAKE OF LIFE ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY ARE ALONE, IN DEPRESSION, IN MEDICATION, IN A INCAPACITY TO WALK, ACCUMULATED TIREDNESS OF DOING NOTHING DURING DAY AND NIGHT RESULTING IN SLEEPLESSNESS DETERIOATION OF HEALTH ETC. HAUNT SUCH PERSONS ALL THE TIME, ON THE CONTRARY THOSE WHO HAVE CHILDREN, EXCEPTIONS APART, DO FEEL COMPARATIVELY MORE COMFORTABLE, MORE ASSURED, SHARE LOVE ALL THE TIME OR MOMENTARILY ON CERTAIN OCCASIONS ETC. ETC. WHICH CONSIST IN: 1. FEEL ASSURED THAT THEY HAVE THEIR CHILDREN TO TAKE CARE OF THEM AS WHEN NEED ARISES OF ALL SORTS. 2. TO OVERCOME MONOTONY AND TO ENJOY, TO GETTING TO CHILDREN WHEREVER THEY ARE, ENABLES SUCH PERSONS/PARENTS TO BE WITH THEIR CHILDREN FOR A SHORT TIME TO TALK ABOUT/SHARE THE PRESENT AND PAST, AS SUCH SHARE LOVE, CARE, TO DISCUSS VARIOUS PROBLEMS OF LIFE NOW AND AFTER THEY ARE GONE ETC.ETC. 3, TO PASS ON ALL WHAT IS THEIRS TO THEIR CHILDREN RATHER THAN TO GOVERNMENT ETC. 4. THE VERY IDEA AND THINKING THAT THEY HAVE THEIR CHILDREN, GIVES THEM STRENGH AND DESIRE TO LIVE LONGER 5. THE VERY THINKING THAT WE HAVE OUR CHILDREN WHO COULD TAKE CARE OF US, IF EVER NEED ARISES, IS A BIG CONSOLATION AND RELIEF IN LIFE ESPECIALLY IN OLD AGE. In conclusion: those who do have children, despite responsibilities, struggles etc. whether helped in old age or not, remain better assured than those who have no children or wanted not to have children 2. The haves who have managed well in their family life and dealing with children live a better life than the have-nots who in the end of their life journey, live in regrets, despair, loneliness, depression etc. HENCE DESPITE ALL PROBLEMS AND CONFLICTS OF ALL SORTS IT IS BETTER TO HAVE CHILDREN THAN NOT TO HAVE, FURTHER IF ONE HAS THE CHILDREN IT DEPENDS ON HIM/HER/THEM AS TO HOW THEY HAVE BUILT UP HEALTHY, CORDIAL AND LOVING RELATIONSHIP WITH THEIR CHILDREN TO ENSURE AS CUSHION/SAFEGUARD AGAINST THEIR OLD AGE. ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… Vasdevloond, founder of cost free marriage bureau, titled MARRIAGE GUIDANCE NEW CONCEPT Contacts: 9811943867 vasdevloond@gmail.com .