SELF ESTEEM AND SELF IDENTITY -WHAT WERE THOSE WONDERFUL DAYS -WHEN I WAS STUDYING IN CO-EDUCATION COLLEGE -NEVER COULD ANY BOY DARE TO CASTE ANY CASUTIC REMARKS NOR EVEN DARE TO COME NEAR ME -I COULD VERY WELL BATTLE THEM IN DISCUSSIONS -AND COULD ESTABLISH THAT GIRLS ARE IN NO WAY LESS THAN THE BOYS -GIRLS NEED TO BE TREATED AS EQAUALS AND RESPECTED AS SUCH -WHAT A SURPISE, THIS PERCEPTION AND THINKING COULD NOT BE MAINTAINED WHEN THE REAL LIFE STARTED -AFTER MARRIAGE THIS ATTITUDE AND THINKING GOT DILUTED TO SOME EXTENT -WHEN CHILDREN WERE BORN, THIS THINKING GOT DILUTED MORE AND MOST OF THE ATTENTION WAS PIVOTED ON THEIR UPBRINGING AND DUCATION AS AS THEY WANTED, IRRESPECTIVE OF WHETHER WE COULD AFFORD OR NOT -ALL WENT WELL, THIS THINKING GOT FURTHER DILUTED WHEN THE CHIDREN GOT MARRIED AND AND DEVELOPED THEIR OWN CAREERS AND ASPIRATIONS -I WISHED THAT THEY MUST TURN UP LOVING AND UNDERSTAND THE REALITIES OF LIFE WHICH NEEDS RESPECT, LOVE, ADJUSTMENT AND BE HELPING HAND TO EACH OTHER AND TO ALL. -THOUGH I REALISE IT PERHAPS WAS A MISTAKE BUT WHEN HABITS ARE FORMED IN CHILDHOOD, IT GETS VERY DIFFICULT TO CHANGE THESE -SO IS MY CONDITION AND SO ARE MY ATTITUDES -SOMETIME I WONDER AND THINK OVER AS TO WHAT SHOULD I DO -TO BRING IN AND SHOW TO MY CHILDREN AS TO WHAT IS MARRIAGE, HOW IT NEEDS TO BE LEAD IN LOVE. -ALAS I CANNOT OVERCOME MY THINKING AND ATTITUDES BUT DO WISH AND PRAY THAT -MY CHILDREN NEDN’T LOOK TO MY THINKING AND RELATIONSHIP, -INSTEAD THEY MUST LIVE ALWAYS IN LOVE, UNDERSTANDING, CARING AND SHARING -ESSENTIAL IT IS FOR THEM TO KNOW AND BELIEVE LOVE BRINGS IN STRENGTH, LOVE AND REPUTATION WHILE HATRED, JEALOUSIES BRING IN DESTRUCTION BY ALL MEANS AND POSSIBLY LEAVE ONE IN REGRETS AND IN LONELINESS. -FINALLY MOTHER CONVEYS TO HER CHILDREN LOVE IS LIFE, LIFE IS TO LIVE AND ENJOY, BELIEVE AND REMEMBER ALWAYS, NEVER ALLOW HATRED, JEALOUSIES TO APPROACH YOU, NOT TO TALK OF FINDING ANY POSSIBILITY TO INFLUENCE YOU IN ANY MANNER. …………………………………………………………………………………. Conclusion what a beautiful message for the children in frank explanation by MOTHER that what she believed in and understood, is not good in real life, the real life consists in love and togetherness, not in self esteem or self identity. Marriage is an essential part of life as such compromise and adjustment become essential than just to espouse on self esteem and self identity as both husband and wife are dependent on each other for murual love, happiness, progress, both do all and feel happy that by their joint efforts, thinking and love, that their children are well settled as they wished for, perhaps are doing marvels and bringing in laurels for the parents everywhere, every corner and from everyone.. …………………………………………………………………………………. Vasdevloond, founder of marriage guidance new concept Cost free marriage bureau, founded in 2015. Contacts Vasdevloond 9811943867 vasdevloond@gmail.com